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How to recover after getting fucked over

This blog entails strong language , viewer discretion is advised.

· Heartbreak,Relationships,Sadness,Recovery,Happiness

Everybody needs their heartbroken at least once, it makes us more human - Huffington Post UK

The most common and present topic everybody faces atleast once in their lifetime. But what do we do after the person we thought would never hurt us in the worst of ways decide to press the button of complete heart destruction? Truth is that recovery varies per person ; some may recover swiftly and quickly and most recover slowly and painfully , but who do we speak to about such devestating matters that would be able to guide us through step by step? When we get screwed over we enter a 'survival mode' in which we're completely vulnerable, overrun with emotion and thoughts and it feels like every form of progress that you've made was put to a sudden stop like you've hit a giant brick wall .

For the latter of us that cannot move on in a week and forget the countless of memories we've made with the person that brought us nothing but pain and heartache at the end is not easy. It is not easy and it will not be a quick recovery. We have to accept that the first week or two will be of absolute hell. We have to accept that our knight in shining armor , or our heroine has fulfilled the time of their 'reign'. If you believe that you are nothing without this person , will you ever truly turn out to be anything - with anyone new? If this person had the audacity to ruin the possible future that could have held the both of you growing and building together is he/she truly worthy? I think not. By the way , you deserve to cry, you deserve to feel pain - it is what grows you. It is your souls detoxing mechanism. Now , after the countless of nights crying thinking what you've possibly done to deserve this - it is time to recover . It is time to discover who you are again. It is time to fall in love with yourself again.

Change your mindset. You do not need anybody to make you happy , you do not need anybody to support you. You need to start believing that if it had to end under such circumstances that it was never meant to be a lifetime relationship for you. It was just a lifetime lesson meant for you. And as harsh as that sounds, its true. Not everybody you fall in love with is entitled to spend their life with you, but just teach you lessons and strengthen you.

 

Stop speaking to him/her. Seriously , I cannot stress this enough. I know it may be hard to just stop speaking to the person you have invested so much emotion and effort into but if you're reading this blog then he/she has certainly had no consideration over what you would go through when they did whatever they have done. The second step to recovery is to end any form of communication with them. Delete any form of memory that reminds you of them off of your phone be that of pictures , videos , quotes , songs, (literally anything). Delete his/her number and refrain from speaking to them if they try to make things right again. Remember this , if they can do it once they can do it again. They have shattered the vase that contained everything you invested into this person. If you choose to let him in again, you will never be the exact same person as you were before they decided to screw you over. Don't do that to yourself , you do not deserve it.

 

Start doing what you love again. May that be drawing, singing , reading books and poems , bonding with family etc. Now that he/she is out of your life and out of your reach , it is time to discover who you are again. It is time learn from your mistakes and make sure nobody will be able to hurt you and do you dirty again. "How do you do this?" , you may wonder. Start off by picking out what makes you happy , and what makes you unhappy. What makes your love grow , and what puts your defenses up. Doing this helps us differentiate between what is healthy for us and what is not. It helps us draw the line between what we deserve , and what is unnacceptable. Thus helping us distinguish peoples intentions just by how they make you feel.

 

Remember this.
Somebody that truly loves you and cares about you will NEVER break you like that. Somebody that truly values your emotions will understand that their actions have a direct influence to your emotions, and that would make them be careful of what they do and how to handle certain situations. When you really love someone , you are delicate and vice versa - they will treat you delicately. Never let a toxic relationship or a toxic partner determine your definition of love or how you view it. Never settle for any less than what you deserve. You are a strong and independent person that does not need an immature and selfish person to make you happy. Remember that he/she was put into your life for a reason , whether that be to love you and build you up for the rest of your life or break you down, fuck you over and strengthen you respectively. Learn to fall in love again . Love is beautiful , love is kind.

Love keeps no records of wrong.

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